“You’re just 16! Kids should be like kids. Don’t interfere in all these. You wanted a seat in this college, I’ve got it for you. Whether we paid lakhs or crores , ethical or unethical is none of your business. Don’t act like Gandhi. Attend classes and get us good marks that is enough”, his parents told.
“You’re 23!! You’re a girl, you should get married soon. I had 2 kids in your age. Look at your cousin, she is 22 and she already has a baby. What are you still studying at this age?? What will you do studying so much?”, her relatives told.
“ You’re 25?? A Post-Graduate? Still don’t have a job? You’re unemployed from the past 2 years ? My daughter was offered a job before she could even complete her graduation. She was just 20.”,her neighbors told.
“You’re 32!! How can you even dream of dancing now? It may be your passion, but your moves won’t be graceful like the others. Don’t tell me that you’re planning to join your daughter’s dance class. If yes, please take it out of your head immediately”, her friends told.
“You’re already 40, you will not find a girl now!! You might have everything, but girls look for young men. Even if you find a girl, it will not be her first marriage”, his aunt told.
“ You’re 50!! You’re a diabetic and also have high blood pressure, what business do you want to do at this age? Start a pharmacy so that you can use those medicines for all your ailments. Business it seems!”, his son told.
“You’re 65 ajji!! How will you manage driving at this age? They will laugh at you when you go for a DL test. Don’t humiliate us by doing that. We will arrange for a driver for you. There is no need for you to learn driving at this age”, her grandchildren told.
Have people told either of these to you or have you heard people say this? Age has always been the much talked about hindrance, no matter at what stage of life we are in. It has been something that people have been reminding us constantly whenever we decide to do something that we love. Being practical doesn’t mean we should be negative about things. There are exceptions always.
From childhood, we were taught how age played an important role in our lives. We were asked to eat on our own because we were getting older and we were supposed to learn to do things on our own. Those nights didn’t miss stories of kings and queens. Their luxurious lives, valor, bravery etc etc. were supposed to be something that we were asked idolize.Having those stories imbibed in us, we grew up. We started questioning societal issues. But we were not always given convincing answers. We were always asked to mind our business. It was only ‘elder people’ thing to talk about money. Although we had corruption, dowry and other social issues in our text books, we were never allowed to question those within our families. “Kids should be like kids. Good children don’t interfere in elders’ discussions ” were all that we were told.
Even before girls could reach their twenties, the hot topic of ‘marriage’ is discussed with them everywhere. Instead of asking, what course she wants to do or what interests her, people ask her what kind of husband she wants. But nobody understands that marriage will add all those big set of responsibilities to her which in a lot of cases will kill all her dreams.
Whether our parents have a problem accommodating us or not, everyone around make us feel that they are the ones taking care of us, giving all that extra gyan on how important it is to have a job, a good paying job, in the best company and how not to burden our parents after reaching mid twenties. If they have a child, earning well, then you can guess how worse the conversations could be with all the bitti referrals and advice .
There would be a lot of unaccomplished, unfulfilled desires of ours like singing, dancing, emceeing , playing a sport, writing a book etc., which when got a chance, we would die to do it, forgetting our age. All we know is we enjoy doing it, and we don’t care how good we would be doing it. “What was the necessary for her to do all this at this age? Whom does she want to please by doing all this ?”, would be the discussions behind our backs.
So, we are successful at our job or business, we have every basic thing that comes under the tag ‘luxury’ but we don’t have a partner to share it with. May be we never had the time to think about love or a companion, or we had our goals and dreams to accomplish and fulfill, or we were not prepared, so we are not married yet in our late thirties. And just that could be the reason and nothing else. Instead of helping us find a match who could fit in our lives, we are told that we are too old and the chances for us to get married is too little. In the 7.4 billion people, there is not a single soul to marry us. Huh !!
After all the working under our bosses for most of our lives, we would have definitely gained some experience in life in that area. We have handled our boss, our partner and their unrealistic expectations and mood swings, so we should be able to manage a small business. A business that we dreamt of from the time we received our first salary, the day we realized being employed is not our type, the moment our boss rated us the least during our appraisal to show us that he could be a better politician. We just have a few more years of service and we felt it is time to call it quit, we are reminded by our old friends who are older than us and children how old we are to start a business. May be we ourselves would remember our age only on the day they sang the ‘Happy birthday’ song.
When we look or think of anyone in their fifties or sixties, we create a stereotypical version of an inefficient old person. This is unfair.
When we were taught to idolize heroes, then age shouldn’t be something to be pondered over. When you know it is right, go ahead.
Ram Jethmalani received his LLB when he was just 17 years old, but the degree did not entitle him to practice law. This was because to represent a person in court as their lawyer requires a minimum age of 21. But,Ram appealed to the legal system and after giving it due consideration, he was appointed as a practicing lawyer at the age of 18.He didn’t worry about how young he was to go to make an appeal.
Subra Saxena(Topper 2009) cleared her UPSC Civil Service Exam when she was 30, it being her last attempt(age limit then being 30).
Henry Ford, Sam Walton became successful in their forties.
Dhruv Shringi of Yatra.com fame had the courage to leave his white collar job to persue his dream.
Millard Kaufman wrote his first novel at age 90.
We all know a lot of amazing couple who have got married late yet living happy with a great bonding.
They didn’t assign an age limit to their dreams and neither should you. Age really is just a number marked by a twelve month calendar that checks the years. Unfortunately, we are defined by that number because of our preconceived ideas of what that number “should” look like. So the next time you’re doing something that might not seem “age appropriate,” remember, acting your “real” age is not always appropriate either.
Your chronological age isn’t necessarily your “real” age. It all depends on how well you feel and act. While physical health has a lot to do with age, so does your attitude. It’s all in the mind.
Don’t let your birthday be a reminder of how another year passed and how your loftiest aspirations have faded farther into the distance.
The saddest words are “it might have been,” the next saddest have to be “I should have tried.” Trying is in itself a form of succeeding. Succeed by valuing yourself and go for it!
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old!! Be the next irreplaceable ‘You’!
